ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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