At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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