Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
