i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
