the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
