New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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