So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
