I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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