You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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