you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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