I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
