party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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