carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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