ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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