i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
