Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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