I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
