make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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