and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
