just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
