just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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