yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
