I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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