i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
