haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
