Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the condom got lost in my hair
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize