i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
