I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
