She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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