just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
