make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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