So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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