I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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