we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize