Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
