Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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