New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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