i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
