$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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