Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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