I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
