why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
