It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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