Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are we still banned from the library?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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