I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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