Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
