How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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