It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
