i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
