their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
