I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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