I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
