I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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