She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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