i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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