You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My bed smells like the plague
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
