she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
