I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize