Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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