I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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