I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
