i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
