As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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